Edge Of Destiny
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: Post Breaking Dawn. This story is based on what would have happened if Alice's vision at the end of the movie had been real. How will she and Bella cope with their loss? Can they find a new future together? AU/Femslash
1. Chapter 1

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome to my new story, my lovely readers. I don't really know where this is going but I just love the idea and wanted to give it a try.

****1****

He's dead. Edward is dead. He's dead. He's dead. Inside my head I repeated the words again and again. Somehow hoping I would be capable of grasping the finality of them. It was impossible though. I couldn't imagine a world where Edward didn't exist. The sun had vanished in my world and eternal darkness would cloud my soul forever now.

I lifted the tissue I was holding to my eyes and pretended to wipe away tears that would never fall.

My heart was empty. Empty, just like the three closed caskets standing in front of us. I smelled the flowers, white lilies for Carlisle, yellow roses for Jasper and finally a bouquet of wild flowers from our meadow for my beloved Edward. I tried to memorize his face in front of me. How long would it take until I couldn't remember all the tiny details anymore?

Charlie's hand was warm on my shoulder, its human heat radiating through the fabric of my black dress. He was trying to comfort me but I knew it was impossible.

Eventually everything was over. Mechanically I shook some hands with my silk-gloved fingers. I heard the words people's lips were forming but it was as if everything was muffled. Maybe my shield was on self-protection mode now.

"It's time to go home." Rose's voice was soft and it was the only one who managed to reach my ear. I followed her to the car and sat down behind Emmett on the passenger's seat.

"Funeral's suck. Alice was right to skip this farce. " he stated, crumbling some fist-sized rock into fine dust before he let it fall down out of the half-opened window. I wished someone would crash me like this. The Volturi were gone. How would I find someone who would help me end my life now?

Then I thought of my little daughter, my Renesmee and I knew I had to go on for her. She had already lost her father. I couldn't make her a complete orphan.

"Bella, have you managed to reach the dog?" Rose asked me when she parked the Mercedes in front of the Cullen house a few minutes later. "He needs to come back with Nes- Renesmee."

I shook my head. "No. I'd rather have her as far away from all of this as possible. Jake's going to bring Renesmee to Isle Esme."

"Does she know about Edward?"

"I can't let Jake tell her that her father is dead. Tomorrow, I'll be taking a flight to Rio."

"You're leaving us too?" Emmett asked before he helped Esme who had been sitting next to me in the car to stand up. Her hands quivered but her lips stayed pressed in a smile that had been frozen on her face. She hadn't spoken much since after. There were no words necessary for me to know how she felt. Just like me Esme had lost the love of her existence.

"I can't stay here. I can't endure it."

"We'll be taking care of Esme." Rose assured me. She wrapped her arms around her adoptive mother and pulled her close. "Won't we, Emmett?"

"Sure, Babe,"

"I'm going to pack now," I told them before walking slowly off to the cottage our family had given Edward and me as a gift. Now, with my husband gone irrevocably it felt like a prison to me. Everything inside that house reminded me of him. I couldn't endure it. The pain would suffocate me and pull me down into a spiral of emotional purgatory.

I could smell Alice before I saw her. She was sitting on the ground in my dressing room, holding a single red sling-pump in her dainty hands.

"Can't find the other one, you must have lost it."

"It doesn't matter." I whispered, kneeling down next to her. "Nothing matters anymore."

"I know. I've already packed your suitcases. They're in your bedroom."

"Thanks." I murmured, reaching out my hand to place it carefully on hers. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know. I wanted to."

I notice for the first time how delicate her hands are. Alice's fingers remind me of that of a porcelain doll.

"Jasper's dead. It's my fault. I should have come back on my own."

"It's not your fault." I tell her, the grip of my fingers tightening around hers. "What happened is not your fault."

"I saw what was going to happen. I saw everything."

"That doesn't make you responsible for anything. Aro is the one who made the choice."

"Not the one to let Jasper come back here with me. That was his."

"Jasper came with you because he loved you.

A tortured whimper leaves her mouth and I flinch when she moves forward at lightning speed. Her fists connected with the walls, making concrete and wood splinter around us.

"Stop this! You're destroying the house and hurting yourself."

"I don't care! You're right. You're so right! Jasper came back with me because he loved me. His love for me is what killed him!"

I manage to pull her away from the wall. She quivers in my arms when I pull her on my lap like a little child. For a moment I remember how she held me after she'd come back after Edward left me. How she comforted me. Now, it was my turn to do the same for her.

"Scream if you want to. No one will hear you but me. The walls are sound-proof."

She whimpers as I rock her back and forth, gently stroking her back with my fingertips until she finally calms down. For a while we remain like we are. Both of us are unable to move one single inch.

"Your eyes are all black." I tell her, "When was the last time you hunted?"

"Can't remember,"

"Then we'll go right now. Come with me."

"I don't want to hunt. I don't want anything apart from stopping this pain inside of me. It's unbearable."

Her voice is tortured and I know that if she doesn't hunt anytime soon the physical pain will start to overpower the emotional one.

I pull her outside with me and practically force her to drink from the first elk that we run into. She drinks greedily, soft moans escaping her mouth with every gulp full of blood she takes. It has been rare that the two of us have been hunting together. There is a gracefulness in Alice while she feeds on the animal that is just beautiful.

"I want to be dead too." she whispers. "Aro should have killed me first."

"Don't say that. I'm glad you are still here. I love you."

"I love you too. I'm sorry about Edward. He loved you so much."

Standing up from the ground I set fire to the dead elk on the ground. "Let's go back home."

She takes my hand and lifts it her still blood covered mouth. "Thank you for not hating me. I could understand if you did."

"I don't blame you for what happened. Please, don't think that."

"But you don't want to stay here. You're going away and then I'll be all by myself."

I kick off my boots when we enter the cottage again and sigh. "Everything here reminds me of Edward. I can't endure this."

"I know. But I also know you won't be coming back…ever."

Alice can see the idea that spreads through my head even before the words leave my mouth. She wraps her arms around me and answers my question without giving me a possibility to re-think my decision.

"Yes," she whispers softly. "I want to come with you to Isle Esme."


	2. Chapter 2

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] Thanks for your great response. It makes me happy that so many of you seem to like the idea for this story.

****2****

The island looks the same as I remember it from the first time I've been here. Yet everything looks completely different. The ocean is not the beautiful deep turquoise color from my memory but a mixture of countless shades of green and blue. The sand makes a crunchy sound under our feet as we walk towards the house. My stomach is in a knot. Maybe it was a mistake to come here. There are too many memories that this place holds. It's a good thing they are only blurry human ones.

I can hear Renesmee's laughter and hold my breath. This is going to be hard. Alice tightens her hand around mine. She has been so terribly silent during the entire journey here. Somehow it's like she's not even there. Her body is here, but not her mind.

"Momma! Aunt Alice!"

She jumps into my arms and I lift her up, planting a kiss on her forehead. Her hand comes up to my cheek and visions of her diving through a beautiful lagoon rush through my head.

"You're having fun here. That's nice, sweetie."

"Jake is sleeping."

"Was," he mumbles as he walks out of the house. In the heat here he smells even worse. It's just disgusting. I wrinkle my nose.

"Hi Bella."

Renesmee shows me a picture of her father. My heart cramps and I let her go a bit too abruptly.

"Where is Daddy? Is he coming here too?"

God, how much I hate this situation. Can a dead heart be broken? It doesn't even feel like it's broken. More like there are a millions of tiny fragments in my chest and it's impossible to put them back together again.

"Bella?" Jake asks, placing his blistering hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," I croak. "I mean, no. I don't really know." I tell him. Then I kneel down on the warm sand and pull my daughter on my lap.

"Sweetie, there is something I need to tell you about. Your father can't come here. He's dead."

My eyes are burning. They feel terribly dry. Is this how it feels like to cry for a vampire? Renesmee's tears though are real. Warm and liquid they soak through the fabric of my top.

I tell her about Jasper and Carlisle too and it makes her sob even more. It's impossible to calm her down. Eventually Jake pulls her from my lap and rocks her back and forth. He speaks to her in a low and gentle voice.

"Let's go inside, sweetie. I make something to eat for us."

When they disappear inside the house, I stand up again. I feel lifeless. How am I supposed to endure eternity like this?

Alice clears her throat. "I'm going for a swim now. There is this waterfall that I really liked."

"Can I come with you?" I ask, glad for any kind of distraction. She takes my hand and her touch is pleasantly comforting. The way up to the waterfall only takes us a few minutes. I remember hiking throughout the jungle for hours as a human. It was exhausting. Nothing can ever exhaust me anymore, at least not physically.

"Lovely, isn't it? Jasper liked this place." There is bitterness in her voice when she mentions her mate. I want to say something to comfort her, but I don't have any words that seem good enough.

I lean back against a rock and watch how Alice peels down the zipper of her dress. The silk cascades down her legs followed by her bra and the ridiculous nothing of a thong she has been wearing.

"Do you want to swim with your clothes on?" she asks me. "The salt water is going to ruin them."

My eyes move over Alice's naked body. It makes me slightly uncomfortable to see her like this. It seems too intimate somehow. She's very beautiful. Her body is dainty and pale like a precious marble statue. Her breasts are small but perfectly round with cute little tips in a dark pink color.

"You look like you've never seen another girl naked before."

I shake my head and force myself to stop staring at her like a complete moron. Then I pull my top over my head and wiggle out of my shorts. I don't feel confident being naked. It reminds me a bit of that nudist camp Renee wanted us to move to when I was nine.

"Wow, you're really beautiful. I like your breasts. Edward was a lucky guy."

Her comment makes me feel awkward. I don't know what to respond to it. Instead I rush forward and jump down the waterfall. The water is warm and for a moment I feel tempted to stay underneath the surface. What if I never came up again? How long would it take until my body would turn into fine sand?

"Got you," Alice calls behind me pulling me up. "Vampires can't drown. Didn't you know that?" She whispers and her lips press against my cheek for a moment before she turns around and dives into the pond of water beneath the waterfall.

Her eyes are closed, her lips slightly parted. For the first time since that horrible day she seems relaxed. It was the right decision to bring her here with me. I want her to be happy again. She's not responsible for what happened. Aro made the decision to destroy our coven. It's a miracle some of us survived. The rest of the Volturi guard has returned back to Volterra after the fight. I don't have the energy to think about them now. To me it seems impossible to imagine a vampire world without them. Just as it seems impossible to me imagine a world where my Edward doesn't exist anymore.

I'm still here though. Alice and I are both still here. Somehow I need to find a way to move on. I can't give up. I never have been the kind of person to give up. This is not the time to start with it now.


	3. Chapter 3

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hey, everyone. I know it's been forever since I updated this story. I'm sorry about that. I won't bother you with an ass long A/N and boring excuses about the reasons why.

Thank you for the alerts and especially the lovely reviews. Your kind feedback is greatly appreciated.

****3****

Third wheel—That's the thought that crosses my mind while I watch my little Renesmee together with Jacob and Nahuel. My best friend is furious with jealousy, no matter how much he tries to grin and bear it.

Like an unwelcomed intruder he sits next to his imprintee on the ground and watches how she hangs up on every word that leaves the other half-vampire's mouth. It's the first, and most likely the only time she'll ever get to talk to someone who's exactly like her.

With a sigh, I lean back against the tree behind my back and close my eyes. Coming here has been the right choice. If there is any place where I can find answers about half-vampires and their fast paced growing up process, it will be here.

Alice and Jasper had managed to find Nahuel and his aunt Huilen here in the middle of nowhere. The original plan was that Nahuel was to convince Aro and the rest of the Volturi leader that hybrids were perfectly capable of blending in with the vampire world. We never got to the explaining part, though…

"My nephew likes your girl." Huilen states while she continues to comb through her long hair with her fingertips to smooth out the tangles in it. "She's the only one of his kind that is not his sister."

For a moment I feel tempted to tell the red-eyed vampire woman in front me that my daughter and Nahuel don't have the slightest chance of ending up together. All he can ever be to her is what Jacob was to me. A best friend who will never ever be enough compared to what my dead husband has been for me.

"I haven't apologized to you yet, Huilen." Alice whispers, keeping her view on the leaf covered ground. "I should have warned you about what was going to happen."

Huilen's mouth twitches. "I haven't apologized for running away, instead of fighting with you."

I reach out my hand towards Alice and pull her on my lap. She leans her head against my shoulder and is very still.

"You need to stop apologizing to people." I tell her, letting my fingers move through the mess of jet-black hair on her head. Now that she hasn't tried to style it with tons of hairspray, I realize for the first time how silky it feels like. I massage her scalp and she purrs softly.

"Bella is right, Alice." Huilen states calmly. "Nahuel and I aren't blaming you for anything. You did what you did to protect your Coven. Anyone would have done the same."

Alice stiffens in my arms. The color of her iris turns black as if she's suddenly very thirsty. It's impossible, she really is. Both of us have been hunting before we came here in the early hours of the morning. The rainforest is fascinating. It's full of a million of different smells and sounds. I love it here.

"Are you well?" I ask Alice, who quickly nods her head. I don't need to have Meggie's power to sense that she's lying. Before I get to have an opportunity to repeat my question, Alice turns to Huilen, trying to change the topic of our conversation.

"So, the two of you have joined Zafrina's Coven now. That's great."

"She and Senna are two very fascinating women. Nahuel and I are blessed that they allowed us to stay with them."

The repulsive stench of human food reaches my nose. I turn my head towards Nessie and her two admirers who are roasting some marshmallows over a little fireplace. I try to remember the taste of them but somehow it's already blurred. Soon, I will have forgotten everything about the taste of human food.

I remember how Edward bit off that piece of pizza in the school cafeteria because I dared him to do it. Sometimes guys really do stupid stuff when they want to impress a girl.

"Shouldn't Senna and Zafrina be back from their hunting trip?" Alice asks Huilen. "They have been gone for over three hours now."

Huilen grins, her smile exposing the tiny white teeth that look even brighter against her dark complexion. "They need some alone time. You and Bella should understand. Aren't you and her like they are?"

I don't grasp what she's referring to. Instead I start wondering if maybe something has happened to them. Being worried is probably ridiculous. That's definitely my late husband and his constant worrying that has rubbed off on me.

"I'll go for a walk." I tell Alice and Huilen, standing up from the ground. "I won't be long."

A symphony of impressions floats my mind as I run through the rain forest a few minutes later. Colors flash by, flowers and animals. Every breathe I take brings new scents with it. I don't even have a name to give to most of them.

I force myself to stop because I don't want to bring too much distance between me and the others. Where are Senna and Zafrina? A few miles further I find the dead body of a panther lying underneath a pile of dried woods.

It pleases me greatly that Zafrina is trying to give our vegetarian diet a try. Staying away from human blood must be challenging for vampires like her that have lived for centuries by feeding on humans.

A soft moan reaches my ear, followed by the splashing of water. I turn around and rush towards the noise. There is some heavy musk-like scent in the air now. It's overpowering, even throughout the bouquet of exotic plants and flowers.

I climb up a thick tree to get a wider look around the entire area. Not very far away from my lookout, there's a small lake. I jump on the next closer tree.

Then, I hear a deep-throated laughter. Oh, there's Senna, I think when the brown curly-head appears out of the surface of the water.

I open my mouth to call out for her but before I can bring out the first word, Senna's naked body is lifted up into the air by Zafrina' long arms. Trails of water trickle down Senna's chest. Her eyes are closed but there is an unearthly smile playing around her lips. My eyes widen when I watch, strangely fascinated how Zafrina's left hand moves up to the other woman's narrow waist and eventually her breasts.

The reasonable part of my brain tells me to turn my head away, but somehow I just can't. I didn't even know that Zafrina and Senna are a couple.

Senna groans and a shiver runs down my spine like a million of tiny tingling sensations.

I'm a hundred percent sure that what I'm secretly watching in front of me, is the most erotic scene in the entire universe. There is so much tenderness and beauty in the way Zafrina worships Senna's body.

_You and Bella should understand. Aren't you and her like they are? _

Huilen's words echo in my head. Does she really think that Alice and I are together? The way Senna and Zafrina are? Why would she think that?

The scent of arousal is thick in the air. It has a strange effect on my body. The lace fabric of my underwear gets soaked within a couple of seconds. I feel so guilty. It shouldn't make me feel that way to watch two women making love to one another.

Zafrina's head is right between Senna's thighs now and I can't help but imagine how that must feel like for her to have her mouth and tongue on the most intimate parts of her lover's body. My clit pulses at the thought, making it barely possible to resist the primal urge to touch myself. It is just too much.

With a few giant leaps I jump from the tree I've been sitting on. My body is trembling slightly. I run and run, realizing after a while that there is no way I can exhaust myself.

I drop to the ground, replaying the scene I just witnessed again and again while my hand glides into my shorts to rub myself. My fingers massage my clit, making it swell even more under the touch. The sound that escapes my mouth when I climax a minute later is animalistic.

Crap, what the hell are you doing here? I scold myself. Are you out of your fucking mind?

Wiping my slick fingers on a leaf, try to calm down again. I'm grateful like never before that my transformation into a vampire has irrevocably extinguished my ability to blush. There's no way I'd ever be able to look Zafrina and Senna into their eyes after what I've done. Am I some kind of pervert now? What the hell is wrong with me?

When I return to the clearing where Huilen and Nahuel have built up their tent next to that of Senna and Zafrina's, I try to act as if nothing has happened.

Jake lets me know, that Nessie, Huilen and Nahuel are out hunting together. It's obvious that he doesn't like the thought of that too much. Maybe he's afraid that they could make Nessie hunt on humans. I doubt they would do that, though.

"How long are we going to stay here?" he asks me, chewing on a little twig between his teeth. "I already asked the psychic but her ability doesn't seem to work properly at the moment."

"Go and mark a tree, dog." Alice hisses through her teeth. She's next to me in a flash, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "We can stay here as long as we like to. Can't we, Bella?"

I nod my head and when Alice's lips make contact with the skin of my cheek, I flinch. Never before did I spend just a single second thinking about how she and I act around each other. Alice is my best friend. She's such a cuddly person and the thing is that I like it that way, very much, to be honest.

Even when I was still human and smelled good enough for her to eat me, she used to hug and kiss me all the time, permanently searching for a way to be close to me.

Was it possible? No, could it be possible, somewhere, maybe in a place where her reasonable thoughts had no access to, that Alice felt more for me than a sisterly friendship?


	4. Chapter 4

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I'm sorry. I am doing a bad job in updating this story. AU fics are not my strong point. Thanks to those of you who are so very patient and supportive. I cherish your interest in my work.

Happy Fourth of July to my American readers!

****4****

My fingertips turn the piece of rock between them into a fine dust within seconds. I lean forward and pick up another one. Maybe this is some kind of nervous vampire habit. It was almost like a vampiric alternative to biting fingernails or something like that. I couldn't even remember if I ever used to do that when I was still human. Why was it so difficult to remember tiny details like that?

"Are you alright?" Alice asked me from behind before she sat down next to me. "You've been so quiet yesterday."

Here's the thing. I've always been good at figuring out what to say in public and what to keep to myself. When you start hanging out with the supernatural, it is important not to tell others too much. During the whole last night while I watched my little angel of a daughter sleep, my mind wouldn't come to a rest.

I didn't care for Alice the same way Zafrina cared for Senna. Sure, I did love her. I loved her a lot. But not like this. Not in that kind of way…

"Is something wrong?" my best friend demanded, placing her arm around my shoulder. "Don't you want to stay here longer? You haven't made up your mind, so I don't know."

Her hand glide down my forearm and her caress that was innocent and light like a feather made my skin prickle.

"I don't know what to do." I said finally, fighting the urge to pull away from her embrace. It was difficult to pull away from something that felt so good.

Alice leaned over and kissed my cheek. I held my breath and stiffened.

"You are acting weird." she stated, standing up again. Without her arm around me the world was instantly colder; if anything can be cold for a vampire at all. "Are you angry at me?"

"No, of course, I'm not angry at you. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind right now."

Her red-tinted mouth twitched. "I hate it when you have trouble making up your mind."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me feel like there is no future. Like the only thing that exists is this moment and we can go neither back nor forward."

I leaned my head against her bare leg and pressed my lips against the back of her knee. The taste of her skin was like nothing I could compare it to. I loved it.

Alice's voice was a bit shaky when she spoke up again. "Bella…"

"I'm sorry." I said, moving away a few inches from her. There was a strange impulse in me to lick my lips and an even stronger one to kiss Alice directly on her mouth. It was just for a split second, but that was enough for Alice to see what I was about to do.

"You're thinking about kissing me?" she called out, her eyes widening in her small heart-shaped face. "Kiss me like lovers do?"

I jumped from the ground, kicking the tree behind me with so much force it cracked and fell down to the other side.

"No," I lied. "And what business is it of yours what I plan to do? I would never act on it. Correction, I will never act on it."

Turning around, I made a few jumps forward. I was a good runner now that I had left my human clumsiness behind. I wanted to run from my own thoughts. I wanted to run from something I didn't even know what it was.

It's not like this between Alice and I. It's not like this. I repeated over and over again in my head.

Suddenly, I landed face forward on the ground. The scent of damp earth filled my nose.

"You can't run away from me." Alice stated, turning me around. Her doll-like hands closed around my wrist as she held them together above my head. "You are the only thing I have left. The only one I love."

Then her mouth was on mine. Her lips were hard and soft at the same time. I could hear her groan softly as my tongue touched hers. We kissed and kissed, greedily exploring the other one's lips and mouth. Nothing in my life, not in this and not in my previous human one had ever felt so right to me.

"Alice," I moaned, wrapping my legs around her waist to pull her body closer to mine.

"Why are you doing this here?" Zafrina asked, jumping down from a tree next to us.

Alice dropped her hands from my wrists. Still, she didn't move away from my lap. For the first time I realized how perfect her dainty body felt on top of mine.

"Nothing," I said. "We're doing nothing."

Zafrina laughed and her reaction to my lame attempt of an excuse would have made me blush. I mean, if I still would be able to blush.

"Nothing? Well, to me it looked like you were kissing each other and were about to rip each other's clothes off."

As soon as the words had left Zafrina's mouth, the picture was in my head. I could see Alice's dripping wet body moving against mine in the lagoon. In my mind I imagined sucking one of her perfectly pink nipple into my mouth to bite it hard.

"Fuck, Bella. That's hot." Alice groaned, shifting a bit on my lap.

"What is hot?" Zafrina asked. "Doing it in the dirt like animals is not hot. It's uncomfortable."

Alice stood up from my lap. I wiped off some earth and leaves from my backside as I got back on my feet. On my tongue I could still taste my psychic friend's unique aroma, sweet and yet not sweet at all. I wondered how it would have been like to kiss her as a human. All I knew was it would have been too much. My human self wouldn't have been strong enough to deal with the overwhelming physical sensation.

"I'm sorry you had to see this." I told Zafrina while I tried to comb some leaves out of my tangled hair. "I don't know what came over us."

Zafrina smiled, exposing her white teeth. "It's alright. You don't need to apologize for wanting to be with your mate."

My mate? Alice was not my mate. Edward was my mate and he was dead now. Had I thrown dirt on his memory when I had kissed Alice?

"Bella is not my mate." Alice stated. "Jasper was."

Zafrina sat down on a rock and crossed one leg over the other. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes, of course, I do believe that. Jasper was my mate. It can't be any other way. He was my first vision after I woke up."

I nodded my head. I knew how much Alice had loved Jasper. She was the one who had brought light into his dark soul. What an incredible thing to do for the person you love.

"I don't think Jasper and Edward were your mates." Zafrina said, running her fingertip over the sides of the rock. "Vampires that lose their mate turn insane. Like Marcus from the Volturi."

Alice kneeled down in front of Zafrina. "But I love Jasper. He and I spend so much time together, more than a human life."

"I know, Alice." the Amazon mumbled. "Still, being in love and having a mate is not the same."

My hand fisted into the fabric of Alice's sleeve when I sat down next to her. "You think, Alice and I are mates? But I don't love her like this." I whispered.

"Love is not something that is set in stone." Zafrina explained. "It can change and grow any moment, every single day of eternity."


End file.
